What Are You Thirsty For? Ep. 34

Sarah Annie Schneider: Welcome to the to God Podcast. I'm your host and Bible mentor, Sarah Schneider. And I am addicted to God. Addicted to God is a community of imperfect people who are pursuing a deeper, more intimate relationship with God. This movement was inspired by the hundreds of incarcerated women that I have had the privilege of mentoring in my local jail. The more I learned about their addictive behaviors, the more I realized that my zeal to know God's Word is not that much different from their uncontrollable desire to use their drug of choice. So in a nutshell, Addicted to God is where we transfer the unhealthy, unsatisfying, and destructive habits and choices to the freedom and fulfillment that can come from the one and only healthy addiction, and that is God and his limitless word. I do want to encourage you to share this podcast so we can end addictions, encourage the defeated, and help anyone who wants to have a relationship with God but doesn't know where to start. So join me and let's get addicted to God together. Well, welcome friends. A few weeks ago I sat down with Pastor David Pendergrass, a pastoral counselor with more than 20 years of experience walking with people through addiction, grief, and trauma. He said something that I just keep going back to. He was describing a woman who kept going back to men who hurt her. And he said, I would rather have muddy water than no water at all. Muddy water or no water? Isn't that a choice so many of us think we are stuck with? Over the past three episodes, you met three people whose lives could not look more different on paper. A pastor and counselor with a PhD in biblical studies. Who twice walked away from the faith intellectually before Jesus brought him back? Then a twenty-four year old Native American woman, a member of the Turtle Clan, who sat in Seg, a segregation cell in jail after her third DUI, two days after burying her grandfather, and she told God she was done. And then there was this Wisconsin farm boy who milked cows three hundred sixty days a year and spent his twenties and thirties chasing the next high all the way To crack cocaine while still sitting in a church pew on Sunday. Different generations, different backgrounds, different drugs of choice. But when I laid their stories side by side, I found some threads that were running through every one of them. And I thought I'd bring that forward today. I believe those threads run through your story too. They sure run through mine. So today I want to pull those threads together for you. Because Whether your muddy water is a bottle, a pill, a paycheck, a relationship, or the approval of people around you, God is offering you something better. He's offering you living water. And Brian and Maddy are living proof that you can transfer that unhealthy, unsatisfying, destructive habit to the one and only healthy addiction. So the first thing I want to bring up is every addiction is thirsty. Let's start with the question that David asks people in his counseling office. When someone comes to him stuck in a destructive cycle, he doesn't start with a lecture or a list of Bible verses. He asks two questions. What am I trying to avoid by doing this? And what am I afraid might happen if I stopped? He told us that in almost 25 years of counseling, he has never once heard a ridiculous answer. The answer is always something real. I'm afraid he'll leave me. I'm afraid I'll be alone. I'm afraid I'm not enough. Maddy said it in her own words. She was put on opioids at 16 after a knee injury ended her sports career. And she loved her sports career. She didn't even enjoy the opioids. They just took the pain away. And she said, What can I use? What can I find That will make me feel okay or whole or loved. Brian found it in adrenaline. After childhood, after leaving the farm, in his words, he became hell on wheels, outrunning the police, skydiving, pushing every limit. That rush fed something inside of him until it took more and more to feel it. Friends, here's the truth underneath every one of their stories. Addiction isn't really about the substance, it's about the thirst. We were created for a deep thirst for love, safety, significance, and when we don't know where to find it, we dig our own wells, metaphorically speaking. God describes the same thing in In Jeremiah 2.13, he says, My people have committed two sins. They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water. A broken cistern, I have come to learn, is a well with a crack in it. You can pour and pour and pour, and it never stays full. That's why one drink becomes two. That's why the high has to get higher. It's why shopping and promotions and relationships never quite satisfy. They were never designed to hold what only God can hold. And Jesus speaks right into that thirst. To a woman at the well who had five husbands and was living with a man who wasn't her current husband. Jesus said to her in John 4, 13 and 14, Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again. But whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life. So the first thread and emphasis today is your behavior is pointing to your thirst. Don't just ask, how do I stop? Ask, what am I really thirsty for? The second thread, even good things make terrible gods. Now here's where it gets uncomfortable, because not every broken cistern looks like crack cocaine or jail cell. When Brian's wife caught him for the third time and told him the marriage was over, he did what so many of us would do. He ran to God. Three hours a day in the word, prayer, tears, and the prayer over and over, Lord save this marriage. But God didn't answer that prayer the way Brian wanted. And looking back, Brian said something incredibly honest. He realized his marriage had become an idol. He listed it out for us. Drugs were number one. His marriage number two, the Packers number three, and God maybe number eight or nine, sprinkled in around the edges. Maddy told us that sports were the only healthy addiction that she had, three hours a day in the weight room. And when her body gave out, she lost the thing that gave her her entire identity. And David, he showed us that one of the sneakiest idols of all is the idol of being a good person. When he gently pushes people and what they mean. When they say they're good, he says what they always, almost always mean is I'm better than you. I'm not a murderer, I'm not a hypocrite at church, but we don't measure a ruler against a kindergartner's drawing. We measure it against the true standard. And the true standard is Jesus. You see, friends, marriage is a good thing. Sports are a good thing. Hard work, family, and a moral life, these are good things. But good things make terrible gods. God put it plainly in Exodus 20, verse 3, you shall have no other gods before me. See, God isn't being insecure when he says that. He's being loving. He knows that anything we place in his spot will eventually crack under the weight of being worshipped. Only he is strong enough to be our number one. So the second thread is this: an idol is anything you go for, what only God can give. And sometimes the most dangerous idols are the ones that everybody applauds. This one really touches me personally. how I love it when people notice that I haven't aged a bit, or you're so talented, or you're so awesome. And I don't know how you do it all. Dopamine. That was what Brian was saying when he was outrunning the police. Maddy chased relief, freedom from pain, and idols manifest themselves in so many different forms. They're sneaky. I call them elusive. They hide. Even things that are seemingly not bad or even needed at the time. It's probably the reason God gave me John 3 30 to be my life verse He must become greater. I must become less. I was thirsting after compliments and attention and acceptance and ultimately love. From things I could never get from other people, rather than seeking it out from the true source of love, and that's God. Our third thread the bottom where the Father runs. Every one of these stories has a moment where everything fell apart. For Brian, it was losing his marriage, his retirement savings, and daily time with his sons, and living in his grandfather's attic. He said it brought him to his knees, and then he added, I needed to be brought to my knees. For Maddy, it was jail. she was honest with us that she wanted to end her life that night. But God spoke to her and said, I need you to fight this fight. You are loved, you are worthy, you have a purpose, you've got to come back to me. And I'll never forget how she described what happened next. Instead of taking her own life, she said, Lord, take my life. She said it was removing from her soul the hands of herself. my god, my mom heart just shatters at the sound of those words. But God, He is our mighty rescuer. He is so close, but He's not going to bulldoze His way into our lives. He is there when we are ready. Friend, if you are in that dark place right now, please hear me. Your story is not over. Please reach out to someone today. You can call or text 988, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, anytime, day or night. But let me say this God has a purpose for you, and you are not alone. Of all the interviews I have hosted on this podcast, the most prevalent theme is that you are not alone. And if you heard Maddy's story, or you're hearing this for the first time on this episode, my call to action for you is to seek a solid, biblical, trained, godly counselor. And David is a perfect example of that. He won't let you tear yourself down, and he will walk with you through your trauma, the deepest pain that you have. And the deepest pain you're enduring, whether it was in your childhood, an abusive relationship, the betrayal of an affair, or whatever pain you are suffering right now. I may not know your pain, but I do know who does. And I also know you can't do this alone. and by the way, since I'm on this soapbox, let's talk about pride. It is pride to think you're strong enough to do this alone. God made us to support, encourage, and love one another. As we endure all the brokenness and injustice of this world. God will use your story, friends. I'm telling you, I promise you actually. God will use your story. After all, the saying goes, history is his story to be told. Brian said it. As a matter of fact, Brian said, you can't have a testimony without a test. And here's another example of this. For David, his bottom was an intellectual one. Twice in his studies he said he deconstructed his faith and he called it a very, very dark period. But God used even that to give him a deep compassion for the doubters and the skeptics that he now walks alongside. And here's what I love. Two of our guests, without knowing what the other would say, Brian said, God will leave the ninety-nine and go after the one. And David told us about the parable that we call the prodigal son. He said it should really be called the Forgiving Father. Because the point of that story isn't how far the Son ran, it's how fast the Father ran. In Luke 15, 20, it says, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him. He ran to his son, threw his arms around him, and kissed him. David pointed out that the son had a whole speech rehearsed. I'm not worthy, he said. Make me your hired servant. But the father didn't even let him finish. He just ran toward him, embraced him. David said it this way Any conception you have of God does not match the picture of a father who chases after a rebellious child. You don't know God if that's who you think he is. So the third thread rock bottom is not the end of your story. For so many people, we think it is. But when we finally stop running long enough for the Father to catch us, it's surrender. And surrender isn't losing. Surrender is letting God hold you. Maddy explained this so perfectly at her young age of 24, 18 months into her recovery journey. And then there's the fourth thread. This might be my favorite moment in all three conversations. When Maddy tried to help me explain surrender, she talked about labels. Alcoholic, criminal, daughter of alcoholics, the world and even our own minds hand us a list full of names and labels. She said, I'm not gonna put this jacket on today. This jacket is full of grief and pain and struggle and resentment. But that's not something you have to wear. And then she said, That's what you call me, but that's not who I am. Friends, that is the very heart of what David describes as shame. Shame isn't just feeling bad about what you did. Shame says I am bad. I am unlovable. I am trash. And David said almost every addiction is driven by a shame cycle. We hurt, we feel ashamed and then we numb it. And David said something I want every person in every jail block, every recovery meeting, and every church pew to hear. Jesus didn't die for garbage. He died for you. And when we come to Christ, Scripture says we are adopted. Our identity is settled. Our failures don't put our sonship or daughtership at stake. I love Galatians four seven. It's such a good reminder that you are no longer a slave, but God's child, and since you are called his child, God has made you also his heir. Both Maddy and David also said that in two separate conversations. they both reach for the very same verse, which is Romans 8.1, and I've mentioned it many times. there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. So the fifth thread is that you were not meant to do this alone. I emphasized it before, but I'm gonna emphasize it again because it's where freedom comes from. Brian had four people who prayed for him for over two years. Two men from church, his mom, a counselor from Lakeland Grim Bible Camp, and he hadn't talked to him in over 20 years. But when Brian finally called him, he couldn't even speak for three to four minutes. As he just cried, Dan listened. And then Dan prayed with him. Every time he asked, for the next two years, he was there. Maddy went from jail to adult and teen challenge, and year-long faith-based recovery program. She said it was very hard and intense, and she wanted to leave some days. But it gave her structure, scripture, and people who are still rooting for her today. Her advice was so practical. Your environment matters, she says. Keep the people who will tell you the truth, and even when it hurts your feelings. If you listen to her episode, her ability to recite scripture was amazing, And she had such a beautiful testimony. Hearing her spout off the names of drugs, which some I've never even heard before, but the harmonious references to God's word was such a beautiful example of her transformed life. So inspiring. David told us that one of the most important steps in healing is having at least one healthy, mature Christian in your life. Someone who validates what you've been through, but won't cheer you on toward a bar. He has an accountability partner named Jeff, and he walks through life with his wife and Jeff and his church. I have two amazing women who walk me through my life. Each of them blesses me in a very special way. You know what I love the most is how every one of them will drop everything to take my call in a time of need. Ecclesiastes 4, 9 through 10 says, Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls down and has no one to help them up. You see, Maddy told us how she once wanted to be put in segregation, which is solitary confinement, basically. She wanted to be alone until she got there and she realized, you don't want to be alone. Isolation is one of the enemy's favorite tools. When we pull away, the voice of shame gets louder. So the fifth thread is this freedom is not a solo project. Find your people. Even if you don't have them yet, ask God to send them. Then go to the places where they gather. I would recommend church. And then freedom isn't pain free, but it is worth it. I always want to be honest because all three of our guests were honest with me. Becoming a Christian doesn't mean you'll float through life on a cloud. Maddy said she still has days when a beer sounds good. Brian said Satan is still trying to get at him. And David reminded us that nowhere did Jesus promise that a magic prayer would make every struggle disappear. In fact, when you start pursuing God, you get a target on your back. When you belonged to the world, you were no threat to the enemy. But the moment you crack open that Bible and start talking about Jesus, that's where the battle starts. Brian described it like a goldsmith refining gold. The heat brings the impurities to the surface so that they can be skimmed away. Maddy stood on this verse during her time and team challenge, which I absolutely love that she recited. First Peter five ten. And the God of all grace who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you've suffered for a little bit while will you Himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast. Love that. John 16 33, Jesus Himself told us that in this world we will have trouble, but to take heart, because he has overcome the world. Maddy asked a question that I think every one of us needs to sit with. What do you have to lose that you haven't already lost? And she told us that the freedom on the other side is so worth it. So the sixth. Thread is a Christian life may not be pain free. It's purposeful and not meaningless. So the recommendation for all of us is so powerful. These powerful stories draw us to do something. Victory doesn't come from white knuckling our way out of a bad habit. It transfers. Brian says he transferred his hunger from the high to a hunger for God's word. Maddy transferred her three hours in the weight room to hours in devotions and prayer. Here are some practical steps straight from the lives of our three guests to help you make that same transfer. Two questions to ask yourself. Next time you reach for that muddy water, pause and ask David's questions. What am I trying to avoid? And what am I afraid will happen if I don't? Don't judge your answer. Just listen. Then bring that answer to God. Don't forget to name your idols. Do what Brian did. Take out a piece of paper and honestly rank what comes first in your life. Where is God on your list? Ask Him to flip it. And then take off that coat. Write down the labels you've been wearing. Then next to each one, write what God says. You're forgiven, adopted, loved, not condemned. You are a new creation. And then find your one, the one healthy, mature believer who can be honest with you. If you don't have that person yet, pray for them. This week, take that step, go to church, join a Bible study, a Christ-centered recovery group, like celebrate recovery, for example, and daily. Three hours a day, that's what Brian chose in his darkest season. But even if it's an hour a day, 15 minutes a day, just sprinkling Jesus in on your car ride, reading that verse a day calendar, David gives us a passage that he said he reads slowly and then he lets it sink in. There's no checklist. David said, Bring to God what you are bringing to God. use arrow prayers, Brian said. That was a term he used, that he talks to God all day. Lord, give me patience. Lord, help me with this difficult person. Lord, I need you right now. One of my favorite things, and I was glad Brian and Maddy both brought this out, which is worship. Those powerful weapons of song, building playlist of songs that speak to your heart, and then press play when the battle comes. One I just had on. Not too long ago when I was meal prepping this week was really catchy. It's by Hannah Kerr and it's called Jesus is Why. If you want to be in a good mood, go ahead and plug that song in. And please shoot me a post on social media or add a comment to YouTube. What worship song gets you into a better place? And what is your go-to when you need a dose of God and truth? All this to say there is a place where we all have to start. And That is, if you've never truly surrendered your life to Jesus today, can be that day. Brian walked us through the ABCs. He says all of us have sinned. That's Romans 3.23. We all fall short of the glory of God. But Jesus lived the perfect life that we couldn't live. He died the death we deserved, and he rose and conquered death. The invitation is simple. If you declare with your mouth Jesus is Lord and believe with all of your heart that God raised him from the dead. Then you will be saved. Look it up in Romans 10 9. As David reminded us, this is just agreeing with the facts about God. It's Maddy also saying, Take my life, Lord. It's coming under the training of Jesus and following him. If you prayed that prayer, I would love to hear from you. Go ahead and email me. This is a celebration. As a matter of fact, I'm accepting one on one appointments right now. Did you know that? If you want to meet with me, I'm scheduling 60-minute Bible mentoring sessions for us to talk and explore your faith together. Let me be that first person to meet you where you're at and assure you that you are not alone. The link to schedule is in the show notes, and you could also email me at addicted to Godpod at gmail.com if that's your preference. So friends, I want to close by highlighting these three stories, three broken cisterns, three who ran to a father. David said the muddy waters feel like the best that you'll ever get because that's what shame tells you you deserve. But Jesus is standing at the well offering you living water, not because you deserve it, but because he loves you. Psalm 34, 8, one that you need to put to memory. Taste and see that the Lord is good. Blessed is the one who takes refuge in him. Play that over and over. And if you missed any one of these three conversations, Go back and listen. Episodes 31, 32, and 33. Each is full of hope, and I believe God will speak to you through them. I am so thrilled that you and I are on this addicted to God journey together, learning to trade every harmful addiction for the one and only healthy addiction that truly satisfies. And you know that that is Jesus Christ and his living word. If today's episode stirred something in you, please share it with someone who you know is stuck or feeling hopeless. You never know how God might use it to put them on the path to freedom in their own lives. And you can find more about this podcast and our guests at addicted to Godpod.com. And learn more about me at Sarah Annie Schneider.com. You can always connect with me throughout the week on Instagram and Facebook at Sarah Annie Schneider. And YouTube, I have something special on YouTube. It's a daily short that I endearingly call Pondering on the Path with My Pup. Subscribe to my channel at Sarah Annie Schneider at AddictedToGod and follow what I'm reading and what God is teaching me daily. And I'm always looking for guests. If your life has been genuinely transformed by Jesus and you've experienced what it means to transfer your addictions to God, I'd love to hear from you. Please email me at addicted to Godpod at gmail.com. Friends, I look forward to seeing you next week, and don't forget to choose the better addiction.