No Testimony Without a Test | Brian's Story

Sarah Annie Schneider: Welcome to the Addicted to God Podcast. I'm your host and Bible mentor, Sarah Schneider. And I am addicted to God. Addicted to God is a community of imperfect people who are pursuing a deeper, more intimate relationship with God. For over 20 years, I have been on my own Addicted to God journey. This movement was inspired by the hundreds of incarcerated women that I have had the privilege of mentoring in my local jail. The more I learned about their addictive behaviors, the more I realized that my zeal to know God's word is not that different from their uncontrollable drug of choice. So in a nutshell, Addicted to God is where we transfer the unhealthy, unsatisfying, and destructive habits and choices to the freedom and fulfillment that can only come from the one and only healthy addiction, and that is God and his limitless word. So please share this podcast so we can end addictions, encourage the defeated, and help anyone. Who wants to have a relationship with God but does not know where to start. So thank you for joining me and let's get addicted to God together. Friends, I'm so excited to host this episode today and bring to you a personal friend of mine and be able to hear Brian's story. So, Brian, welcome to the Addicted to God podcast. Please introduce yourself. Yes, I'm Brian and came from Saring, Wisconsin. I grew up on a farm. and ⁓ working hard working all the time but that was good for me as i will mention later and bad for me went to college at marinette uw marinet actually growing up i went to ⁓ lake lungrum bible camp in pembine wisconsin which was my only five days off in a whole year which is part of the story anyway working at ups there in marinette and going to college and Yep, eventually I made it to Green Bay. So which is where I am now working at UPS. I have two boys, Nathan and Jackson, from my first marriage, which is part of the story, to Kristen. And ⁓ I am now ⁓ remarried, happily remarried to Wendy, and I have gained three kids into my life by the grace of God. Richard, Natalie, and Megan. Yeah. So that's pretty much where I'm at right now. Our stories are similar in a couple of ways. I too grew up on a farm, so I can fully appreciate the hard work and the good and the bad that came from that. I also met you the first time at Lake Lundro Bible Camp. Yeah, that was that was a great time. Those were good years. Yeah, I I wasn't so focused on the Lord then. I was focused on this vacation. And at that point it was girls. I was going for the wrong reasons, but ⁓ God still had other purposes for me at Lake Lungren. It's a special place where you can be alone with the Lord. And the tall pine trees and campfires and the personal devotionals that they encourage you to do. ⁓ the people, ⁓ guy named ⁓ Dan Adamson that was a counselor there, and he impacted me from the word go in nineteen eighty-three. One of those faithful people that will stick with you through your whole life, through the thick and the thin, which is part of the story too, where twenty years after that I go running to him with my divorce when after so many years of not contacting him, he was this godly man as he's always been, ⁓ and gave me some advice. So that was Lake Longer and and then I sent my kids back there because it became so special to me. I agree. Lake Lundgren is my literal favorite place on earth and I sent my kids there as well. And it has been a formative part of our story as well. So, Brian, thank you for sharing. And we're excited to dig a little bit deeper into your testimony. Even before we hit the record button, you prayed ⁓ for this message today. And I loved that you said there is no testimony without a test. So Please share. Where did God intercept your life or how what did it take for you to find him? Well, like I said, working on the farm three hundred and sixty days a year and the five days I had off. I was a workhorse, milking on my birthday, milking on Christmas. I knew nothing different. I didn't think I was abused. It was life. It was life on the farm. But I didn't get to do things. sports, I could do FFA basketball. because of limited practices, do some track ⁓ a future farmers of America. Yes, got it. Because we live in a farming community there. So very little playtime and sleepovers at friends' houses were almost non existent. You know, get up, do chores in the morning, five thirty ish to right before you go to school. So my my homework was, you know, come home from school and There wasn't much time for homework and I was never greatly blessed with a very talented mind IQ I could get by. Maybe average. This is part of the story. I I had to cheat in school to get through, but yes, that was the farm life. So when I went to UW Marinette when I graduated, I was hell on wheels. It was like being let out of prison. I just never experienced life. I never got to buy a motorcycle on the farm or a dirt bike. I mean I was I was suffocated. So not experiencing life and then going to total freedom. What am I gonna do next? I started to fulfill all my flesh laid desires and like buying a dirt bike and I became a rebel instantly. To back up a little, I grew up in a Christian church. I did forget to mention That ⁓ on the farm I did accept Jesus into my life at a five-day club at Phyllis' house. And I truly believe that I was saved, but I did not show any fruit. So that growing up in that Christian church, I knew the gospel, I could I could write it on paper, but I did not live anything out. ⁓ I had all these hormones raging and all these fleshly desires for the world. That I got to experience as I went to Marinette. And then I was kind of like the black sheep that started to wander further and further and further away from God. But Sarah, as we know, God will come after the one. He'll leave the 99 and go after the one. Greatest story. And so common for our college years, those twenties when we're independent and we want to experience and have everything we lacked as a child. 'Cause b growing up, as you said, on the farm, we were poor. We had nothing. We we ate we worked to live and we worked to survive. And it was a hard life. That's funny you say that. I believe it was nineteen eighty three. We had to kill pigs to eat. To eat, you know, I remember them the milk checks were not quite paying the bills. And so it's a lot of stress on my dad's life. ⁓ which came down on me working harder. Well, I had two sisters, ⁓ Trisha and my stepsister Anne, which would be my dad's daughter. So there was always a little tension there because my dad was remarried. So that was also part of growing up, my two sisters. So you were talking about what running away from God and he goes after the one. You are that one, he pursued you. How Did he get your attention or what path of destruction did you lead yourself down that was your time when you needed to realize, okay, my way is not the right way. I need the Lord. So ⁓ yes, it went to toys. I had money because I was a workaholic. I had three jobs at one time. I truly believe I could outwork anybody at the workplace and get four hours of sleep. Yep. I functioned on four to five hours of sleep for years. ⁓ because of my work ethic. And I I attribute that to my dad. And and and God, God forms us and puts stuff into our lives to form us for the future too. And so having that money then I started buying toys, you know, the jet ski, the four wheelers. And then I kind of got lured into the bar not lured well, lured by Satan into the bar scene a little more. And ⁓ my my theory in my mind was I work hard and what's the problem with one drink? What's the sin in one drink? And then of course, you know, it becomes more than that and and we look back and all of a sudden you're getting an OWI as you're trying to outrun the cops. I did not respect authority for some reason. And so, you know, leaving a bar one night and I didn't only go from beer, I went to Kessler's. Harder alcohol and tried out running the cops. And I did many times, which fed something inside of me that sense of excitement when you get away with it. It ⁓ that's that's that's such a fleshly desire. Adrenaline rush. Adrenaline. You you nailed it. Which is dopamine, which is a trigger that any drug will do. Yeah. But it's the times you get caught and I got caught drunk driving and thrown in jail for the night. I I have the type of personality that I'm inquisitive and push things to the limit. ⁓ I've skydived before and you know, there's always a challenge and something new to experience. So from alcohol, I went to marijuana. And it was hard to find back in the day in at college. But it could be found. And then, you know, what's what's once a week I used to say, you know, when I go out and you justify things in our brain. But then it becomes You look back and say two, three years, you're like, you know what? Now I'm using it every day w to function. And I think I can function better with it, which is a lie from the pit of hell. And ⁓ so screwing up my life there for six years and working at UPS the whole time, part-time. So I was not a driver at UPS. I did the physical job, I load semis, and I could do these things. But when I got my OWI, My dreams of becoming a UPS driver were kinda shattered because the OWI will you know, five years. Deal breaker for a driver job. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I joined the Navy, which is excitement to me, go and see the world. My grandpa was in the Navy, so that kinda was in my blood. And I went and saw a little bit of the world as a reservist, the training that goes behind it. And ⁓ I come back from the Navy and I still didn't know what I wanted to do. And I went to NWTC for a welding degree. And still I'm going back to Marinette as my hometown. And I got that, and I'm like, is this really me? So then ⁓ having ruined my UPS ambitions and not being ⁓ a welder, really like to be outside in God's creation. Growing up on a farm, I was not to be in a welding booth grinding and laying down beads. So I decided to turn over a new leaf after getting in a ton of trouble with the cops in Marinette. They knew my car. And ⁓ yes, and they knew I would try to outrun them and succeed, but they would catch me because the radio is always faster ⁓ than anything else. So I was like, let me turn over a new leaf. And I didn't turn it over with God. No, I wanted to leave and transfer UPS's to Green Bay. So I did that. Of course my addictions followed me. And I'm drinking in Green Bay, but this is a new leaf, so I'm watching things a little better and putting more guardrails up in my life. ⁓ still smoking pot as a lifestyle. And partying and working a lot, finding many jobs to do, so always having the money roll in. And then ⁓ even ⁓ getting in trouble with my stepsister Anne and and doing drugs with her. And that fed and got worse. And then I'm in the basement with some friends one night and we're playing pool and, you know, smoking and drinking and and I'm like, what are they doing off in the corner? ⁓ I think they're doing cocaine. So me, I gotta push the envelope all the time and see what the next thing's about. And ⁓ then I'm starting into that. And ⁓ to to advance the story a little, I I get hooked up into that. Cause ⁓ marijuana subdues me more or most people and I like to be active, working, playing, whatever it may be, so the cocaine kind of fed that. So the effects of cocaine is it feeds your adrenaline, it gives you more energy, more drive, you're awake more. Yeah, I don't like to be sleepy. ⁓ so yeah, it fed ⁓ the way God made me ⁓ to be active, my personality. But he wants me to be active for him, not for Satan's kingdom. So I was definitely in Satan's kingdom and I was buying more and more and b and buying the big bags called eight balls and then driving to Milwaukee. ⁓ I can't believe I did that to this day. Driving down to the most dangerous parts of Milwaukee, buying bigger amounts for cheaper money. I I remember on the farm I never had much money and now I got all this money 'cause I can work. And I am still about the deal and getting better deals. And so then getting screwed over in Milwaukee and ⁓ getting burned and then then Satan gets more involved into my life and it leads to crack cocaine. One day somebody says to me, Have you ever tried cooking it? I'm like, what? What are talking about? ⁓ yeah. I started doing that. And that is I've always said that is that is the devil himself. That is a different animal. From lying cocaine and I'm trying not to glorify it. I never would. I'm getting emotional right now as tears well up, but ⁓ it's a different animal, it consumes your mind. And that's all my mind wanted to think about was the next buzz from smoking it. And ⁓ and I kind of missed the spot. ⁓ in there I I got married to Kristen. My my boy Nathan was born in nineteen ninety nine. So I was hooked on that then and I was going to push away from it and ha no, that didn't work. So I got sucked more and more into it. And it affected me in my marriage and and my wife it then caught me with it and read the Riot Act to me and I mean she had her issues. ⁓ but I need to I needed to look at myself and it it drew me away from her. And the Lord, of course, is barely in my life. I was still going to church and playing the religious game. You were. That's interesting. Yeah. Trying to serve the Lord, but living that double life. Boy, is that a struggle in your mind? I bet. Knowing you and reflecting back on those times, I had no idea. Yeah. I would have never guessed. ⁓ Sarah, ⁓ drug users are professional liars and we get good at it. Yeah. ⁓ not only through our mouth, but through our actions. We can lie really good. We get good at hiding things, hiding our sin. I knew God knew the whole time, and I'm asking for him to help me. And he's not really listening. There's a verse in the Bible in Psalm ⁓ sixty-six eighteen that talks about harbored sin. It says, If I had regarded iniquity in my heart, the Lord would not hear me. Mm. So I had that issue I would not bring to the Lord. And he was not listening. And as Dr. James McDonald would often say, our prayers bounce off the ceiling. And that's what that verse is saying in Psalm sixty-six. He wasn't listening to me. He was say you know, the whole time he's like, Brian, bring me your issues. But I would not listen. So after the third time Kristen catching me. That was it. That was it, she said. It's over. And ⁓ we're getting a divorce. Of course, I didn't realize it, but ⁓ my marriage was an idol and ⁓ it really kicked me in the groin. It really did. It brought me down to my knees and I needed to be brought down to my knees. So that was the first thing that fell. And going through that two-year divorce because I drug my feet like crazy, pleading with the Lord. I went running to the word of God so fast. It was crazy. ⁓ there was smoke behind me. I knew where to go the whole time. I knew where to go. And so to save my marriage, ⁓ I was in the word, I'm not exaggerating, Sarah, three hours a day. I got rid of I got rid of I guess drugs were number one in my life. My marriage was number two. ⁓ Packers were number three. I mean, I had all these things. ⁓ my my kids were, of course, way up there, but I had all these idols in my life, and God, maybe it was eight or nine, and I was sprinkling them into my life. And he flipped that and did a 180 right then and there. So three hours a day in the Word, and people come alongside of me, ⁓ me repenting. Truly in crying and wailing out to the Lord, save this marriage. People from church, two from church, ⁓ coming alongside me, a guy from anger management named Dave, praying with me whenever I want, a guy named Corey praying with me whenever I wanted to get through this divorce. And my mom, them three were the staple in my life. Prayer, prayer, prayer gets us through. That's where the power is at. God will break our heart and there will be many tears. Also a guy named Dan, ⁓ so there was four from Lake Lungham Bible Camp that I mentioned. And when I called him, I get emotional every time I think of the situation because of the impact he had in my life. And I'm doing it again. So when I called him, found his number, I I I could not talk. I was just crying for Three, four minutes I I I managed to get out. This is Brian, and he sat and he listened. And then he came he prayed with me for the next two years. whenever I'd asked, he dropped everything. And so would these other people, including my mom, who helped me get through this. So in there I became a driver at UPS in nineteen ninety nine. And that's after you gave your life to Christ? Well, I gave my life to Christ, at the five day club in Suring. I believe I was saved, but there were no rewards. I was the black sheep that strayed the whole time. From the five day club ⁓ or from leaving the farm to ⁓ the divorce. At the age of forty, God got a hold of me. And I started listening to sermons. I mean, like nobody's business in the UPS truck. And taking notes in the UPS truck. Yes, as I'm driving, don't tell anybody. Your secret's safe. It'll stay right here. ⁓ so yeah, I would put Bible verses on my dash. I'm like, I don't care what people think who drive my you see the they would park the trucks at night and I'm like, I had to get through this two year divorce, I put Bible verses everywhere. Up on the windows, side windows of course. Up on my dash. But yeah, yeah. So ⁓ it was it was the best time the hardest and best time in my life as God really ⁓ brought me to true repentance and what prayer really does with other people. ⁓ where two or more are gathered here he is there, right? Mm-hmm. I believe that's in Matthew. I wanna clarify was the five day club A recovery program or was it a Bible study? Okay. Yeah, that was when I was about seven or eight. And that was that was like a Sunday school during the week at someone's house. Okay. For youth, Sunday school age people. ⁓ a little bit like an awana thing. Okay. Five days of learning God's word. Maybe some treats and some outside door activities, ⁓ but all focused on knowing the Lord if you don't know him. Well, that's where by a tree I accepted Jesus as my savior. I said the prayer. I believe it connected to my heart. We we cannot just say a prayer written down on on on paper or repeat after me and be saved. It's gotta make that connection to our heart. So many false conversions I believe in this world. And back in the two year divorce, you said you had all these people praying for you. What were they praying for you? Were they praying for you to have the Lord and be a f you know, truly repentant and saved? Or were you praying to have God save your marriage and that was the prayer that became unanswered? Yeah, my like I said, I come to realize that this marriage was my idol, one of ⁓ top two. And everybody I prayed with, it's like, let's save this together with the Lord. That and that was the main focus. And I'd I'd say I'd say ninety percent of the prayers. And the Lord l allows us ⁓ you know, my sin there's there's there's consequences to our sins. Yes. And God allows these sons consequences and he disciplines those he loves. As a good father would. As a good father. And I was getting disciplined. He took away the marriage, he took away my four ⁓ one K, about a hundred thousand dollars. He took away my kids. That happens in a divorce. I'm living with my ⁓ One point I live with my grandma and grandpa is I can't live in the house. But these these are good alone times then when when I'm up in the attic with you know that's where I was stuck and and ⁓ just pouring through God's word, like I said, three hours a day. maybe two at the very least for th for two years. But you become very hungry. When you feed off the word and and it's it's not about religion in this world, it's about relationship. And for the first time in my life for those two years, I was digging in every single waking moment I could without and and keeping a job. ⁓ in the morning before work, ⁓ of course praying in the afternoon. If I had to drop to my knees in the UPS truck and pray with my mom and take a break just to function, I would, and then of course in the evening and I did that. And so it became very intimate. And there were times he would give me amazing peace. I remember two times that it just kind of flowed over me as I became more intimate with him. I just cried out, you know, scream out and cry with tears. I need some peace. I need some relief. And two times it did happen. I think both were at my grandma and grandpa's. And I just sat there and basked in his love. And calmness and peace and contentment, and I didn't want it to ever end. Of course, it does. But it gives you a taste. He says, Taste and see that the Lord is good. Well, I was doing more in tasting. I was digging into the meat of the word. And in Hebrews, I think Yeah, yeah, in Hebrews it says, Get off the milk. And in in the writer Hebrews, might be Paul. Is saying you have been on the milk of the word and you guys should be teachers by now. And you're should be on the meat, the solid food. Yes. And digging in and using cross references and going to the old testament and seeing where because the old testament is the new testament concealed. And so the whole word council of God is what we need. I really want to back up to the word idol. 'Cause I don't know if you've done this intentionally or unintentionally, but that is the thesis of the Addicted to God podcast. We idolize things, we idolize marriages, we idolize relationships, we idolize our jobs, we idolize our bank account and our money and the things that we find security and safety and pleasure or whatever we are seeking from those things. And what this podcast is doing Is pointing out Exodus 20, verses four through six that says, You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in the heavens above, in the earth beneath, and in the waters below. And what God is saying is, I'm not going to compete. And it's it's, in my opinion, a strong probability that God said, Brian, I'm not going to answer your prayer to restore your marriage because it's competing with me as the rightful. priority and the single greatest idol that you're supposed to have in your life. And addictions are idols in that aspect. And so you were addicted to your marriage, you were addicted to your job, you were addicted to your family and all of those things. And God is like, you know what? I gotta reorganize those priorities. I appreciate that you've been using the language idol. I think that's a churchy word. I think when people hear the word idol, they think of a famous rock star or actress or A statue, not necessarily recognizing that idols come in many, many forms. And really what we're saying is God's not number one. Yeah. He does great 180 in our lives and shows us what's really important. The other thing I want to better understand is when did your drug addiction stop? Because you said you got caught by the for the third time, that was the impetus to create. The divorce, but you ran to the word, did you run from crack cocaine and the things that basically destroyed you? Yes, part of repentance is getting rid of everything. Yeah. So when that happened, when my wife caught me for the third time and I went running to the Lord in the three hours a day. Okay, right then and there. ⁓ I had to get rid of all paraphernalia that come with drugs, pipes and bags and blah blah blah. I had to get rid of and pornography was a tiny bit in my life, but I had to get rid of everything I could think of and throw it away and rip it up so no kid could find it in the dumpster or in my garbage, the pornography. ⁓ I whipped pipes into a field ⁓ just so that nobody would find them in the garbage. ⁓ it's getting rid of everything and cleaning house physically and spiritually on the inside. ⁓ doing everything I could do to confess and I had an anger problem. ⁓ as I mentioned, I had anger against well Kristen, which was wrongly focused in any divorce, none of ⁓ are good. And so there's a battle of kids and my anger would well up and I did go to a group ⁓ to deal with that biblically. ⁓ biblically things should be done with. I did attend celebrate recovery. I went to a group from Bell and Health at one point. A hospital in Green Bay. Yes. And doing their program, the twelve step thing and yeah. That's that's not working for Brian, me. So I needed God and maybe something like celebrate recovery, ⁓ which I did. A more Christ centered recovery program. Yep. Yep, yep, yep. They don't use higher power and celebrate recovery. Yeah. They know that you need God. Yep. Yep. Amen to that. Brian, thank you for sharing all of that. Your story. I'm confident is going to inspire so many people. Let's take it from your story to lessons learned and the advice you would give to somebody listening to this who is really at that crossroads thinking, I need the Lord. Like you did turn your idols over. Yeah. Well first and foremost, finding the Lord God, giving yourself to Him. That ⁓ we gotta start at the ABCs, always with the ABCs. We gotta all know In Romans three, for all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. We gotta know we're sinners. We're born sinners, you know, and there's a heaven and there's a hell, and nobody's getting into heaven with any sin. In John 14, too, Jesus talks about that in my father's house are many rooms or mansions, more appropriately. If it were not so, would I have told you I'm going to prepare a place for you? So there's a heaven and there's a holy God in heaven, and we got a sin problem. But there's hope. And that's Jesus and the blood, the perfect life lived by Jesus here for thirty-three years. Perfect, sinless. It says in Hebrews 9 22, without the shedding of blood, Jesus' blood, there is no forgiveness. So he did. He went to the cross for us, for those that believe and trust and give their life over to him, not just know about him. But we have to be all in. And then after we confess with our mouth and and believe in our heart, I think Acts sixteen thirty one says, ⁓ believe in the Lord Jesus and you will be saved. And I like this last part, you and your household, which I've hung on to dear life, not only for ourselves, but for the household. We all might have prodigal sons and daughters. I kind of hang on to the end of that verse for maybe some that aren't quite there. If I'm faithful to him and you, Sarah, and we just keep being faithful, God somewhere down the road will bring our whole household into his kingdom. But then just to end this, ⁓ after we are ⁓ done business with the Lord God Almighty through his son Jesus, we need to grow. Second Peter 318 says it says, but grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. We need to grow like little plants. We don't stay stagnant. We need to keep at it, and yes, it takes intentionality. So that's I'm sorry. That that is the gospel, and that's where we start. And then after that, we need to hang on to some Bible verses. God gave me some Bible verses in my struggle. It's called a Rhema word. It's just a fancy word. It means utterance. And it's regarding your situation. Ask the Lord for a word to get you through this thing you're dealing with. And He will. Mine came through ⁓ some two or three witnesses as the Bible talks about in Matthew 1820. ⁓ it came through a lady in Dykesville who said one day she goes, Brian, be still in the presence of the Lord, be patient. And that same day, it's Christmas time at UPS, and we get done 8:30, 9 o'clock, 10 o'clock at night sometimes. And ⁓ I had the lightest day at UPS and I was able to get done. It's unheard of. It's only a God. Story, a God thing. He got me done early. I was able to make my celebrate recovery. I went there and the two guys said, Brian, you're all over the place. Be still in the presence of the Lord. Both of them said it in different terms on each side of the room. And then either that evening or the day after, I'm reading Psalm 37, verses 7 and 8. And it says, Be still in the presence of the Lord and wait patiently for him to act. Do not worry about evil people, nor fret in their wicked schemes. It says, stop being angry. Turn from your rage. For it only leads to harm. ⁓ my, Sarah. Mm-hmm. I had an anger problem. I was not resting in the Lord because I need to do things. Do, do, do, do, do, right? But I had to wait. The hardest thing for a doer to do is wait. I hung on to that verse for dear life. I said it I'm I'm not exaggerating. Way over a hundred times, maybe maybe a thousand times in my life have I said that verse. ⁓ he also gave me in ⁓ Romans fifteen, thirteen. I needed a hope verse. A hope. I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you'll overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit. That hope can be for all of us. But it's it's through trusting in him. He is the source of hope. A lady told me, Phyllis from ⁓ Maple Valley Community Church, she's looking at me early in this situation, the godliest woman I know. She has passed away now. She says, Brian, Philippians two thirteen, for God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him. And where did that come from? That came out of left field. I'm like, he's working in me. She was right. Yeah, he's working in me. And that's what he does. Yeah. No question. Yeah. So your advice, what I'm hearing you say, is get into the word. It speaks to you. Get around other believers who will speak to you and also commit your life to living for God and not just for yourself. Yes, there is such joy. when we flip around. We're always searching in this world when we don't have God, searching for the next. Well, it's called happiness. ⁓ the the the funny little phrase is happiness is a Snickers bar, but only joy comes from the Lord. He infuses us with joy when we when we spread the gospel. When a counselor at ⁓ Mark at Appleton Alliance one time said to me, he says, Brian, you're so depressed, you need joy Start spreading the gospel and I knew the gospel. I'm like, you know what? I'm gonna take his challenge. And I'm gonna start at work. I will punch out, so it's my time, my lunch, my breaks at UPS, and I will start sharing the word. And the joy will come and start flowing gradually. He's not an in it's not instant. God does not work like that way. He's not a vending machine. We put money and something comes out. But I started sharing the gospel and and I still do it to this day. And ⁓ he brings us people in our lives. That's a great segue to who is Brian today? Now that God has come through this for you. I know you're remarried. I know your wife. She's a gem. I know that you are a passionate advocate for Christ. So you're not just saying that you do it. I've seen you do it. But how has God blessed you? You know, like you said, he disciplines those he loves, but he also rewards those who faithfully seek him. Yes. When I got remarried, ⁓ Wendy, I got this new family and I'm all in and we would do devotions and spend time with the Lord. And and one thing I would teach the kids, because I got taught to me by great people, ⁓ pastors like ⁓ Dr. Tony Evans, ⁓ Time, talents and treasures. Give your best to the Lord. Give your best time. When are you best? I'm best in the mornings. So I spent my time I give my best in the mornings to the Lord. Talents. Whatever we're good at. Give that talent back to the Lord. Treasures. Yeah, we need to give back to him for his kingdom and his and his glory to further his church. It's his kingdom, not my kingdom. And it's all his anyway. It is. He owns the cattle on a thousand hills. Yes. So yeah, working on that it's constant. Satan's still trying to get at you and I, but I'm not flipping around these things. Our best life is in Jesus. It's it's none of the things of this world. It's spending time with him. And now I spend about an hour a day with him. But I mean just in the morning, forty five minutes maybe is a short day. But I don't believe a scripture too is gonna quite do it. Sprinkling him into our lives. And then having praise and worship music. I have not mentioned that yet, Sarah. This was an integral part of my life. Finding songs that speak to your heart throughout your life, making a playlist. Dr. Tony Evans again used to talk ⁓ many DVDs, and if you ask for resources at the end, stuff that got me through his preaching. practical ways through the word of God. But Satan was the the orchestra leader in heaven before he fell. Well he was called Lucifer. So he was he led the choir of angels and when he moved his timbrels and his pipes, he would make noise as he even moved. And he was the most beautiful of all angels. ⁓ he was the shining one. And then he fell from grace and got thrown out of heaven. 'Cause he rebelled, he wanted to be God and God won't have it. So Satan now cannot be in the presence of worship, true worship, where you are engaged into the worship. So my suggestion for you and I and anybody listening is when we feel attacked, we go to worship and we connect with the Lord and Satan will flee that situation and there will be a release. And if it doesn't happen, we keep worshiping and we push through it. And we find good solid songs that have affected us. So worship is key. I think people have the perception that when they become a believer in Jesus Christ and surrender their lives and repent and clean house, as you say, of all the things that had us entrapped or ensnared, that we're gonna have this pain-free life. Everything's gonna be great. As if Christians are walking on a cloud through the world. And you said something really important. And I actually emphasize this when I start a Bible study, which is when we belonged to the world, we belonged to Satan and we were no threat. When we give our lives to Christ and we pursue God as our one and only healthy addiction, we have a target on our back. And he wants nothing more than to separate us from God. And so you're right. And I wanted to just bring that out as an emphasis for people who think that Brian's life went from this path of destruction to this blissful, wonderful life. Unfortunately, we're still living in a broken world and our bodies are still prone to sin. We will struggle. In this world, we will have trials. But Jesus says, Take heart. I have overcome the world. I I just really wanted to lay that out there for people that might be Misled in believing that walking the Christian walk is easy. Yeah, no. Satan throws wrenches into our God allows this. Why? For our good. For our refinement. Yep. ⁓ like a silver or goldsmith, they burn, they burn it, they heat it up, all the dross, all the impurities rise to the top, and then they skim it off and they keep doing that. And that is God, they they God exactly what he's doing. He's allowing things into our life and bringing it up to the forefront so we can confess and get rid of him and and and and ask him for help in prayer. And a a key part again is prayer and it's not rope prayer. Yes, our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, is a great prayer if we focus on every single word. It's an awesome prayer, Jesus asks us, but Coming from the heart, prayer. I we haven't touched much on it, but spending an hour in prayer. I had a sheet of paper, how to spend an hour in prayer, and like a format, and it it was beautiful, and I've done that too. And boy, to leave there connected with the Lord and and prayer is not only asking for him, it is worshiping him, it is adoring him, it's adoration. The acronym ACTS, the book of Acts, adoration. We adore him, we confess confession, ⁓ thanksgiving, and supplication. Of course, our favorite is asking at the end. But it's all of them. God is holy. But get this we were talking about us singing to him and worshiping him that way. But do you know that God sings over us? It's in Zephaniah three, seventeen. For the Lord your God is living among you, he is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness, with his love, he will calm all your fears. Here we go. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs. And I would wake up in the middle of the night when I was totally engrossed in him. And there would be songs in my brain that I would be singing on my heart as I was sleeping. It was amazing. And ⁓ just knowing that God sings over us, it's one of his ways to connect with us also. Yes. Yes. Thank you so much for that. You've really hit on a lot of powerful examples of what it means to live for God and how we can keep him on the front and center of our lives. I do want to ask you about resources, books, Bible studies, any tools that you've particularly find helpful or found helpful to deepening your faith. Yeah, that handout. ⁓ I can give it to you, Sarah, and if you wanted to post it or whatever, but how to spend an hour in prayer. Prayer is our most powerful tool. In twenty fourteen the best of Tony Evans. It helped me get through ⁓ man, they were powerful sermons, the DVD set, spiritual warfare in there that we all go through now. And this stuff doesn't get old. Tearing down our strongholds we all have. Yeah, of course of course the word of God that goes without saying. Mm-hmm. Worship songs. These are the resources I use to this day. It has been said that we cannot be closer to heaven what it's going to be here on earth than when we're worshiping here on earth. That is the closest to heaven we will ever be, is when we are truly connected in a good, solid song. Yeah, absolutely. That's so good. So my final question is what does being addicted to God mean or look like to you? Being all in, he is our life. Paul said we live and breathe and have our being in him. You know, we include him in our day. Yes, we have our jobs. But if we see, ⁓ you know, just say a dog running at me, I will say it's I call him arrow prayers. Lord protect me from dog bites. Or I see a grumpy person, I'm like, Lord, give me a word, just little arrow prayers. It becomes a habit, including these little prayers to him throughout our day and just living and breathing him because he is our life, he is our joy. And he is the light of our life as the sun shines through your window down onto me right now. But ⁓ yeah, I need to watch my eye gate. ⁓ everybody. ⁓ so what am I doing today? I'm watching my eye gate. I gotta be careful what I look at. The ear gate, what am I listening to? No, it's not a sin to listen to some secular music, but is that really healthy for me? Right. ⁓ no, it's it's not. But there are some good Songs that still catch my attention that are secular. But the eye gate, the ear gate, the mind gate. What am I thinking about? We all need to be warned of these things. What are we focusing on? So that becomes the what my day looks like. I gotta push away from I mean Saint's gonna keep working on you and I. ⁓ yeah. He won't give up. Again, we're the target. The the lukewarm Christian that goes to a bar, whatever. He doesn't worry about them that I'm making an impact. He's afraid of the gospel. He's afraid of others coming into Christ's kingdom. His sole mission is to keep us out. Yep. Amen. I mean, that's what he wants to do. That's exactly what he wants to do. Well, friends, I hope you've enjoyed this conversation as much as I have. And Brian, I want to thank you again for stepping out in faith that this is meant to be. God is going to use your story for incredible impact. And inspiration for others who are seeking hope in a dark place right now. And this is not the beginning of our stories. It is the beginning of our rescue. And I'm truly thrilled that we have a community, a movement of people on this addicted to God journey who are learning to trade every harmful addiction for the one and only that truly satisfies, and that is Jesus Christ and his living word. If today's episode stirred something in you, would you please share it with someone who feels stuck or hopeless? You never know how God might use it to spark freedom in their life. And I am excited to have launched this week Sarah Annie Schneider.com, which is my website where you can get a little bit more information about me and all the things happening that God is doing, not only in my life, but with this movement. You can also find the Addicted to God Pod and other social media channels on YouTube, Facebook, and Substack. My handle is Sarah Annie Schneider as well. I'm also always looking for guests, so if your life has been genuinely transformed by Jesus and you've experienced what it means to transfer your addictions to God, I'd love to hear your story. Please email me at addicted to Godpod at gmail.com. And as we close, remember you are not defined by your past or your struggles. When you transfer your addictions to God, He becomes your one and only healthy addiction. So God bless you, friends. Fix your eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of your faith, and we'll see you next week. And don't forget to choose the better addiction.