The Lies Of Unworthiness Ep. 17

Sarah Annie Schneider: Friends, welcome back to the Addicted to God Podcast. I'm your host, Sarah Schneider, and I am addicted to God. Addicted to God is a community of imperfect people who are pursuing a deeper, more intimate relationship with God, especially when we don't know where to start. This podcast was inspired by God through the stories of hundreds of incarcerated women whom I have mentored over the past decade in my local jail. The more I learned about their addictive behaviors, the more I realized that my zeal to know God wasn't that different from their all-consuming desire for their drug of choice. So in a nutshell, addicted to God is where we transfer our unhealthy, unsatisfying, and sometimes destructive habits and choices to the freedom and fulfillment that can only come from the one healthy addiction, God Himself and His Amazing Word. So thank you for joining me and let's get addicted to God together. Before I dive in, I want to be up front with something. I try really hard to make every episode relevant for every single person who listens. Men, women, old, young, regardless of where you are on your faith journey. But I would be lying if I said today's episode achieves that. This one, honestly, is for women. Not because men can't get something valuable from it. So guys, please stay. I genuinely believe that you'll understand women in your lives a whole lot better. This one, honestly, is for women. Not because men can't get something valuable from it. This one, honestly, is for women. Not because men can't get something valuable from it. So guys, please stay. I genuinely believe you'll understand the women in your lives a lot better and in a whole new way by the end of this episode. So, self-worth and specifically this wound around our value. It just hits women differently. It's invasive. It comes at us like waves. From the minute we wake up in the morning to the minute we fall asleep at night. I think about it. We think about it every time we look in the mirror. And it's like a critical, self-deprecating script that is stuck on repeat. So this message is for every woman who has ever believed she is not enough. And if we're being honest, I believe it's every one of us. Unworthiness is not just toxic. Unworthiness is not just toxic, it's poisonous. It is more damaging than a substance, a behavior, or even a habit. As a matter of fact, it just occurred to me that it could be the cause of the misuse of substances' harmful behaviors, or a driver of really bad habits. I profess that it is the most Pervasive, demoralizing, and downright destructive lie that people, mostly women from my experience, buy into. That poison that I'm referring to is how we evaluate our self-worth. In all my years of jail ministries, teaching women's Bible studies, and leading support groups, this topic always comes up. Whether it's a meth addict who's ruined her life and she just keeps replaying over and over in her head that she will never get clean. Or the empty nester whose entire identity had been raising her children, who says to herself, I don't even know who I am anymore. Or the career driven overachiever who unexpectedly loses her job and spirals into believing that she's a complete failure. Or has herself convinced that no one will hire her now that she has this blemish on her resume. These are just three examples, but they point to something much, much bigger. Most of us spend our entire lives looking for worth in places that were never designed to hold it. And until we recognize where we've been anchoring our value, we'll keep coming up discouraged or even depressed. So let me name a few. If you recognize yourself in any of these, and I promise you I can definitely identify myself in several of these. But we'll start with external things that we think determine our value. And that first one, performance and achievement, career success, promotions, degrees, awards, productivity, all wrapped up in thinking I'm only as good as what I do. And all that I have to show for it. But what happens when that promotion doesn't come? Or worse, when you lose the job. One more, image and how we look. We fuss over our weight, age, clothing, and how well put together we can look. We even try to impress people with brand name clothes, hottest trends, and expensive jewelry. Next, There are what I'll call influences and pressures that are really outside of our control. And I'll start with relationships and approval. Who are my people pleasers out there? That drive for being liked, needed, or having everyone's validation, especially from people whose opinions matter most. It gets worse when someone like a spouse, a boss, a child, or even a friend. Launches a negative comment your way. Even spoken in humor, if they say anything like you're messy or you're too quiet or you didn't do something right. Constructive feedback is one thing, but words that aim at our weaknesses and shortcomings, those sting the worst. And then there's the never ending and consuming role of motherhood and family. So much of our identity gets wrapped up in being a good mom, a good wife. raising good kids, juggling it all perfectly, and striving to keep peace in the family. This one's exhausting. You see, the problem with every single one of these is that they're conditional. They can all be taken away. And when they crumble, so does our sense of self-worth. But then there's that dark storm cloud that lingers with us when we are dwelling on past failures, shame, and regret. Those aren't conditional. You can't take them back, erase them, or even pretend they didn't happen. It's so unfortunate that many of us build our entire identity around our worst moments. I hear, I'm responsible for losing my kids. I'm the one who ruined everything. I'll never be good enough. Or I'm bad. Lies, lies, lies. These are all lies. And you know what fuels it? The poison of comparison. The comparison game is brutal. Theodore Roosevelt famously said, comparison is the thief of joy. In other words, comparison. steals your happiness. To back this up with scripture, it doesn't mince words about comparison. As a matter of fact, Second Corinthians 10 12 says, We do not dare classify or compare ourselves with some of those who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise. Galatians 6 4 even takes this a step further. Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone without comparing themselves to someone else. We do this, don't we? We compare our worst moments to someone else's best. And social media intensifies it because we get to see people's highlight reels. I have to remind myself sometimes that what I see is an illusion. Some things and some people are not what they appear to be. We are all broken, imperfect, and sinful people. How do I know this? Well, Ephesians 7 20 says that no one is on earth is righteous. Ephesians 7.20 says that there is no one on earth who is righteous, no one who is done, no one who does what is right and never sins. But here's the deeper issue. When we play the par comparison game, we're sending God an underlying message. We're basically telling him, I don't like who I am, or how you made me. I'm dissatisfied. You, God, made a mistake. These verses give us a big warning about that kind of thinking. Ephesians 45:9 in the New Living Translation says, What sorrow awaits those who argue with their creator? Does the clay pot argue with its maker? Does the clay dispute with the one who shapes it, saying, Stop, you're doing it wrong? Does the pot exclaim, How clumsy can you be? And then Romans 9:20 says, But we are. But who are you? A human being to talk back to God? Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it, Why did you make me like this? The pot doesn't get to tell the potter what it should be. The only one who gets the final word on your worth is God. When we talk about the pot and the potter, we also have to go way back to Genesis one. God is creating out of nothing. Light, land, star, seas, creatures. And you know what he says? It's good. Then he creates humans. And Genesis 127 says, So God created mankind in his own image. In the image of God, he created them. Male and female. He says it's very good. Genesis 131 says we are the crowning moment of everything he created. You might be thinking, well, that's all well and good, Sarah, but it's 2026. Good point. So write this one down. Psalm 139, 13 and 14 in the NIV says, For you created my inmost being. You knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. If you ever doubt how significant you are, just remember that God knit you together on purpose with intention and deliberate care. You, my friends, are not a mistake. And that cannot be erased by even your worst day. Psalm 139, 17 and 18 honestly blows my mind. It says, How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them? If I would count them, they are more than the sand. Okay. I don't know about you, but I think that is absolutely amazing. God's thoughts about you and me outnumber. every grain of sand on every beach in the world. So if you're thinking, and quite frankly, this thought just popped into my mind, okay, so God made us, He knows us, He made us for a purpose. Okay, check, check, check. But what does this have to do with my value, my worth? Okay, I'm gonna take an illustration that I first heard from my friend and a pastor, Bob Lenz. The founder and CEO of Life Promotions and LifeFest, one of the largest Christian music festivals in the country. Bob speaks about hope, love, dignity, and value to youth all over the world. And just a few years ago, I borrowed Bob's example when I was invited to speak to a class of graduating eighth graders. I remember middle school vividly, those formative years when I was completely controlled by what other people thought of me. So what I wanted to effectively communicate to these eighth graders was this. No matter what you do, what people do to you, or regardless of what people say you are, no one can take away your value. And this is how I demonstrated that. I stood at the podium in the school auditorium and pulled out a crisp $20 bill. And I asked if anybody wanted it. And of course, every hand went up. Then I crumbled it into a ball. It's all wrinkled, but still every hand went up. Next, I threw it on the floor, stepped on it, and squished it into the floor with my shoe. Now it's dirty and ugly, and still every hand in that auditorium went up. So I decided to take it up a notch, and I got very loud. I held up that crumbled, dirty bill and I started yelling at it. I told it it was worthless, stupid, useless, just a plain old piece of paper with ink on it, nothing special. And then I turned back to the class. Do all my words and efforts to devalue this twenty dollars change its worth? Of course not. So no matter what I do to it? Of course not. No matter what I do to it, beat it up. ruin its appearance or even discard it, it's still worth twenty dollars. Its value never changes. This is exactly how God feels about you and me. We are treasured, valuable, and loved beyond our ability to comprehend. And no matter what hits we take in life, nothing can diminish our significance in God's eyes. However, there is only one way That money could ever be considered worthless, and that's if it is completely destroyed. Unfortunately, there is a destroyer, an enemy, who wants you to believe you are unworthy, worthless, not good enough, and that your life is a waste. I do not have any statistics to back this up, but I believe the number one cause of suicide. Is that Satan successfully convinces someone that their life isn't worth living? This is tragic. The first line of defense that is to lean into God and combat those lies with his unchanging truth. And the more you do, the more addicted to him you're going to become. And I'm not just talking about the single woman, the college student, the young mom raising kids. Not even talking to exclusively the career woman or the married woman or the grandmother or the retiree. God and his word has got you in every single season of your life and every single day on this planet. Did you know that God can't lie? That's because he's perfect and without sin. He is faithful and trustworthy, and his word is explicit that he has a An incredible plan for your purpose and your life. That's because he's perfect and without sin. He is faithful, trustworthy, and his word is explicit that he has an incredible plan and purpose for your life. Do you want to know what that plan is? Then you have to read his word and find out. So let's start seeking God's truth. I want to be able to confidently walk away. I want you to. To be able to confidently walk away from this episode equipped with so many verses that you can cling to and completely trust, particularly in those moments when unworthiness and that enemy rears their ugly heads. So here's the first one. Deuteronomy seven six says you are a precious dri gem. Says you are a precious gem and his treasured possession. Psalm seventeen eight says you are the apple of his eye. Malachi three seventeen calls you his most cherished treasure. And Psalm one hundred thirty nine thirteen through sixteen, along with Jeremiah one five, says that you were intentionally designed by your creator who knows you better than you know yourself. Aren't these truths amazing? And Jesus even takes it up a notch by sharing stories, three to be exact, in Luke chapter 15. And they're back to back. And all three of them answer the same question. What does God feel when you are lost? And I want to suggest something before I tell these stories. When we're talking about self-worth, being lost also means being lost in the lie that you have. No value, that you're too broken, too far gone, or too disqualified to be worth pursuing. So listen carefully about how God responds to that lie. The first story Jesus shares is about a shepherd who has one hundred sheep, but one goes missing. He still has ninety nine, safe, accounted for. They're fine. But most of us would do the math and say, that's fine. We can Afford to lose one. You got 99 to take care of. But this shepherd doesn't do that math. He leaves the 99 and goes looking for the one through the wilderness, through the dark, searching until he finds it. And when he finds it, he doesn't scold it for wandering off. He doesn't make it walk home as a punishment to teach it a lesson. No, he lifts that lost sheep to his shoulders. He carries it. And when he gets home, he throws a party. He calls his friends and neighbors, rejoice with me, I found my lost sheep. Ladies, you are that one. Not one of the ninety-nine he stayed with. He left everything to find you. Story number two. Jesus talks about a woman who has ten silver coins, but she loses one. She doesn't shug it off and say, ⁓ I have nine, I'll be fine. No, she lights a lamp, she sweeps the whole house, she searches carefully and methodologic methodically. Method. See she searches carefully until she finds it. And when she does, she calls her friends. Rejoice with me, I have found my lost coin. And here's what I need you to understand about that coin. It did not lose its value while it was lost. It was worthy of It was worth exactly the same amount on the floor in the dark as it was sitting safely in her hand. You see, your value does not go down just when you happen to find yourself in a dark place. You are just as precious to God at rock bottom as you are on your very best day. And here's Jesus' third story. And this many of us know, and I actually Articulated this in more detail in a previous podcast, the prodigal son. But I want you to hear it fresh today and through the lens of self-worth. A son goes to his father and demands his inheritance. In that culture, that was essentially saying, I wish you were dead. Give me my inheritance. Give me my money now. The father does give it to him, and the son takes it and leaves and wastes it. The Bible says it refers to him doing wild living. Making bad choices, literally gone. He ends up starving, feeding pigs, and that's when he hits rock bottom. And he finally comes to his senses when his father's servants have food. And he finally comes to his senses, realizing that even his father's servants have food. So he decides to go home and beg that his father would make him a servant. And he rehearses this speech the entire way back. Father, I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me one of your hired men. He's already decided what he deserves. He's already demoted himself in his own mind before he even gets there. But then Luke 15:20 says this, and this is the part that wrecks me every single time. But while he was still a long way off, His father saw him and was filled with compassion for him. He ran to his son, threw his arms around him, and kissed him. While he was still a long way off, his father saw him, which means the father had been watching for him every day, hoping, looking, and waiting for his son to come back. And he doesn't wait for him to even get close enough to deliver his speech. He runs. He runs to his son, throws his arm around, throws his arms around him, and before the son can even finish explaining himself, the father is calling for the best robe, a ring, sandals, and a feast. This son of mine was dead and is alive again. He was lost and is found. That's our Heavenly Father, not standing at the door with his arms crossed, foot tapping, waiting to hear you explain yourself. I had my dad do that one time when I missed curfew. And God is not grading our apology to see if it's good enough before he takes us back. Even right now, he is running toward you, celebrating before you've even finished your sentence. Your worth to him never changed, will not change, cannot change. Do you hear me? God is crazy about you. He is so crazy that he sent his one and only son, Jesus, to be our bridge. Jesus fills the gap between our failures, faults, and fears and connects us to having our worth, value, and life and the goodness of God, our creator, our potter. And our greatest admirer. So I want to leave you with truth, more truth, of what God says in His Word. It's not about your past, it's not your voice in your head at two o'clock in the morning, and it's not the person who labeled you or wrote you off. This is what God says. I want you to do something as I read these. I want you to receive them, not just hear them with your ears. Own them because that's what God wants you to do. He is speaking them directly to you. Let them land. And if one of these hits you somewhere tender, write it down. Say it out loud. Because what you're about to hear is not a list of nice things. These are God's declarations over your life. Number one, He says you are His masterpiece. Ephesians 2.10 says, For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. And he did not create you and then figure out what to do with you. He had a plan for you before you drew your first breath. Number two, he says you are chosen. First Peter two nine says you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's special possession. You are not an accident, you are not a mistake, you are chosen on purpose and for a purpose. Number three, God says there is no condemnation. Romans eight one. There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Not reduced condemnation, not condemnation on a payment plan. None. Zero. The slate is clean. Which means you might be condemning yourself. This is the verse to take to God. This is the verse to take from God. Number four, he says, his love for you has no end. Jeremiah 31, 3 says, I have loved you with an everlasting love. I have drawn you with unfailing kindness. Everlasting. That means before you did anything right, before you cleaned yourself up, before you deserved it, he loved you then and he loves you now. And he says, you are his child in 1 John 3.1. See what a great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God. And that is what we are. I love that John can barely contain himself writing this. That is great love. And that is what we are. And then there's this one. This one I can't read without feeling something shift in my heart and in my chest. Zephaniah 3:17. The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save. He will rejoice over you with gladness, he will quiet you by his love, and he will exult over you with loud singing. You see, God doesn't just tolerate you, he does not put up with you or manage you. He rejoices over you. He sings over you with joy out loud. Because you are his. These are not suggestions, these are not feel-good encouragements re reserve for your good days. These are God's declarations over your life on your worst day, in your darkest season, and in the middle of your biggest mess. They are true today, and they have always been true. I want you to do one more thing. I want you to read these declarations back to yourself out loud. You say This is what God says about me. So before I let you go, here's your challenge for the week. Take a few minutes to do a simple exercise that I call God's opinion versus the world's opinion. And once I want you to write down one or two lies that you have believed about your worth. Next to each lie, write the scripture. That counters it. Then speak this declaration out loud. Because God says I am, blank, I choose to reject the lie that I am, blank. Put one of these verses somewhere where you will see it every day. Your mirror, your phone lock screen, post-it notes all over your house or car, or write them on index cards to carry along in your purse. And when that lie comes, because you know it's coming, you can answer with God's word. You are seen, friends. You are loved. You are invaluable to the King of Kings, and he rejoices over you with singing. So walk in that truth today. And I promise I am going to be praying for you, even though I may never meet you. Because I know firsthand how easy it is to b to believe the lies that we tell ourselves. And I want to stay connected. Please look for me on Instagram at Sarah Annie underscore author. On YouTube, Sarah Annie Schneider at AddictedToGod. And I do ask, please subscribe. My channel is growing and I am loving the conversations that we're having out there. On Facebook.com. Sarah Annie Schneider, and then there's my blog, godlygirlfriends.com. If your life has been transformed by Jesus, I'd love to have you on my show. Email me at addictedtogodpod at gmail.com. And until next time, fix your eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith. And be sure to choose God as your one and only healthy and life-giving addiction. God bless you, friends.