My Journey to Find Joy in True Addiction Ep. 3

Sarah Annie Schneider: you Welcome to the Addicted to God Podcast. I'm your host, Sarah Schneider, and I am an addict. How does that word make you feel? Are you judging me for admitting that to you right now? I can say that there have been many well-meaning friends who say that the word addict is too triggering. They suggest that I try to reframe it so it doesn't muster up any negative connotations. Even if my message and mission is to point people to Jesus Christ, they still take issue with the fact that the word itself, addict, is off-putting. I'm here to tell you, that is what is so unique about being addictive to God. God is the one and only healthy addiction. The more time and effort you put into pursuing God, he becomes an addiction. You can't get enough of him. Society has branded addiction as being something bad. And don't get me wrong, they can certainly be bad and even deadly. The reason unhealthy addictions are truly bad at their core is because they are hijacking something fundamental to human life—our ability to pursue what is truly good, healthy, and life-giving. At their core, addictions aren't just bad habits—they're compulsive patterns that take control, even overriding reason, relationships, health, and even our deepest sense of purpose for our connection to God. Things we are addicted to promise freedom or relief, pleasure, or they even disguise themselves as being solutions to our problems. But big or small, all they truly deliver is entrapment. They steal life rather than give it, rob us of health, relationships, dignity, and ultimately our ability to live fully as God intended. I petition that being addicted to God doesn't have to have bad side effects. As a matter fact, Galatians 2.20, and I'll paraphrase, says that our side effects, or the fruit for loving God, is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. I don't know about you, but I'll take these over hangovers, rotten teeth, chronic disease, or even a sentence to spend the rest of my life in a state penitentiary. Today's episode. is part two of my personal addicted to God story. In the last episode, I talked about my journey to finding God, that moment that I realized at age 27 that my faith was not my own. Until that time, I was banking my eternal fate on my parents' belief and religious upbringing. Thanks be to my mother-in-law who loved me enough to create doubt about what I believed and why I believed it. After making a commitment to God, I figured out truth for myself. It took me five years. took Bible studies, turning from secular unhealthy music to Christian radio. And I listened to sermons from theologians like Dr. David Jeremiah, Dr. Tony Evans, or Dr. John MacArthur, who are a few of my faves. And they would explain the Bible to me in a comprehensive way. But this day I treasure every mentor and teacher who patiently answered my tough, skeptical, and sometimes even argumentative questions. I was diligent in seeking truth, and all glory be to God that He came into my life, opened my eyes, and guided me into a passionate mission to help others, like you, who also want to know truth for themselves. Today, I'm going to get more personal in sharing my variety of addictions and what God taught me, if not at the time, through the years of my spiritual growth. I'll start by saying that an addiction can be very elusive, so much so that you may not even know that you're addicted. And I can imagine what you're thinking. Wouldn't you know if you're addicted to something? I mean, come on. If you drink too much, you'll wake up with hangovers. If you gamble excessively, you're likely broke or on the verge of trying to recover from bankruptcy. I actually met a man who bet it all. and found himself homeless. Truly heartbreaking. I see friends and coworkers who are addicted to cigarettes standing out in the freezing cold, least here in Wisconsin. Or sometimes they have to hike a few blocks away to find an area designated for smokers. They come in with bad breath and their clothes stink. I remember out of love for my mom and a sincere heart to want my mom to be in my life as long as possible, I begged her to quit smoking. Her rebuttal was, honey, I like smoking. So my mission is not to guilt you or rid your life of all things that bring you joy and pleasure. God is a good and generous God and he wants us to have good and pleasurable things. Just not things that mean more to us or that are all consuming to the point that they become our God. Some of my addictions were not so obvious. Other people in my life could see them. My husband, certainly my children, of course, and even coworkers and bosses. In my case, I was deceived into believing that because of the things I was doing, it was self-improvement, I was being a good role model and a good mother and a good wife. So if that's true, how could things be bad? Well, that's the problem. They sneak up. They don't necessarily leave you broke, hungover, or in withdrawal, at least not right away. They masquerade themselves as a habit or self-care or even something that we believe to be harmless or justify as productive. just because they don't scream for attention. We often don't recognize them as being addictions at all. Let's take coffee, for example. I hear people all the time say they're addicted to coffee without even thinking that just because it hasn't put them in jail that it's harmless. Some studies say, yes, it's harmless. And others will say no. So there's a lot of conflicting information out there, which complicates things. I think the truth lies in what happens when you don't have it. For me, it's mood swings, tiredness, and brain fog. Yet if I have too much, I'll get jitters, possibly even tremors, and gut rot. I used to sugary creamers to fuel my sugar addiction for a double whammy. I didn't even know I was addicted to certain things. And even if I did, I would joke about it until God opened my eyes for me to see them for what they truly were. Things that I pursued with the belief that they would make me happy, that people would like me, I would be accepted or loved, or it would be my path to wealth, health and prosperity. Fleeting things, honestly. Addictions, though I have probably too many to share in this episode, the ones I will highlight almost destroyed my marriage, my health, my relationships with my daughters, and almost bankrupted us. At one time, I thought strong work ethic, self-discipline, Excellent time management was aspirational, but it ended up turning out to be workaholism. I was addicted to work. Long hours, no days off, my weeks and my weekends blended together. At one point I worked four jobs. Even when I only had one job, I would work excessive hours, even on salary where it didn't matter if I worked 40 or 80 or even a hundred hours a week. If it wasn't money that motivated me, It was my attempt to seek validation and prove my worth, pledging my loyalty to the company so that they wouldn't fire me or demote me, convincing myself that if I overperformed, exceeded expectations, or justified my value, I would be irreplaceable. I would tell my husband and my kids that I was doing it for them. I remember running out of the house one morning and my youngest asked me if I could take her to school. I told her I couldn't because I had a meeting and she said, mom, when are you going to have a meeting with me? That was heartbreaking. And that was definitely a reality check. That memory today still makes me cringe, but that's what addictions do. They hurt you and the people around you, even when you don't even realize it. And then there was the addiction that almost put us into bankruptcy, my compulsive shopping or shopaholism. Somehow I thought stacking up store credit cards like a deck of cards was cool. I had the messed up perception that 10%, 20%, 30 % discounts in BOGO deals were actually savings. Obviously, my income didn't support my spending, so the accumulation of credit card balances compounded into huge debt, which only accelerated the ridiculous interest rates. Through my 20s and 30s, I did many debt consolidations in an attempt to reduce my monthly payments. And at one point, we had to take out a second mortgage. That financial pressure that it put on our family was suffocating. But I dressed for success that I was pursuing in corporate America. This next one is really a doozy. Vanity. Disguised as being healthy, athletic, strong, fit, and skinny. Much like a drug, I loved the thrill of getting a good sweat on. Runners high, it's a thing. And so are all the compliments I would get to boost my ego and validate that my workout regime was paying off. Hours a day, seven days a week, I'd be running, kickboxing, doing karate, jujitsu, running half marathons or CrossFit and CrossFit competitions. I never missed a day, lived on protein bars. And even though it was excessive, it was all in the name of health, right? And then there's sugar. This one is one that people openly and freely endorse. It's right up there with coffee as being socially acceptable, and many people don't even realize it until they are obese, diagnosed with diabetes or cancer even. It's crazy how accessible and acceptable eating sugar is, but I must admit, I have a big candy jar in my office at work and some days I don't have any willpower to stop at just having one piece. And then there's one that potentially a lot of you can relate to. For me, during COVID, this was a season when alcoholism started to scare me. I was drinking every night. I didn't associate it with addiction or even feel threatened that it could be until I was talking to a friend and I said, I put myself to bed every night with a bottle of wine and I wake up every morning with a pot of coffee. Having said that out loud and hearing it with my own ears spoken that way made me shudder. realizing that that was the honest truth. The Bible says in Luke 6, 45 that out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. was the moment I realized in my heart that I had something to say and I didn't like it. That my friends is called conviction. When you have made Jesus the Lord and leader of your life, you invite the Holy Spirit to come and live inside of you. The Holy Spirit's conviction is a deep internal sense of moral unease or the realization that you've done something or you are doing something wrong. The Bible calls that sin and that conviction is like a warning light on the dashboard of your car. gives you the opportunity to make a corrective action and realign your heart with God. Perhaps it is because I am well aware of the devastating effects of alcoholism that this admission jolted me out of what could have been a very destructive path. Thankfully, The Bible has a lot to say about being sober minded to not get drunk on wine or strong drink. However, I do tell the women that I met her in the jail, that I am really only one bad decision from being right where they are. And it's true without God exposing my materialism, my shopaholism. I could have easily been pushed to steal. Thank God. My husband stayed with me through those brutal, awful heart wrenching financially. challenging years. They were some of the hardest that we've ever faced. Without God flipping my priorities, trading endless work hours for precious family moments, my workaholism would have kept me grinding down to chronic exhaustion. I was literally selling my soul for applause, resume building activities, and pride-fueled success. if scripture hadn't repeatedly warned me to stay sober-minded, to steer clear of drunkenness, and to walk in self-control, who knows where that nightly bottle of wine would have led. We live just south of Green Bay, Wisconsin, a city once crowned and more frequently crowned America's drunkest, where the culture is just one more. Peer pressure is real, but God's guidance is stronger. I thank him every single day for those clear warnings. a deep desire to have more of Him than anything this world could offer. I recently told a friend that my priorities are locked in. God first, then my health, my husband, and my kids. She was surprised that my husband wasn't number one and I explained that I want to live fully until God calls me home, treasuring every breath He gives. Praise God that health now looks different to me. Simple walks with girlfriends, neighborhood strolls with my dogs, really enjoying His creation without obsession. Listen, I know we all have our vices, but here's the hard truth that changed everything for me. Without God at the center of your life, you're missing the very purpose He created you for. Those earthly addictions, they rob you blind. They rob you of joy, peace, relationships, and the deep unshakable fulfillment that you can only find in Him. If this hits home and you're tired of the cycle, if you're ready for real freedom, or you love someone who is, would you do me a favor and would you please like, follow and share this podcast? Let's shine light into the darkness. Let's break chains together and lead more people into the one who gives abundant life, Jesus. Invite someone trapped in addiction. to join the movement you never know. Your could just be that turning point that God uses. ⁓ you have an addiction story? ⁓ God radically transformed your life ⁓ the life of someone you love? ⁓ be honored to hear it. ⁓ email me at addictedtogodpod ⁓ gmail.com. ⁓ promise ⁓ read every single email ⁓ I love to hear your stories ⁓ give all glory to God. So thank you for listening today. I pray God meets you right where you are, convicts where needed, and fills you with a holy hunger that only He can satisfy. God bless you, and tune in next time.